


The Chex Mix Bag Of Snippets

by sharpedo (Chex_Nix)



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Homestuck, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Accidental Baby Acquisition is becoming a running theme here, Aftermath of Violence, F/F, F/M, Freedom, Gen, Guns, Implied/Referenced Torture, Imprisonment, Kidnapping, M/M, Mentions of Murder, Multi, Non-Graphic Violence, Other, Snippets, Violence against Children, Violent Murder Children, ideas, not a full fic, the first thing is about mafia children what do you expect, the tags are mostly just in case, this is way less dark than it sounds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-01-31 12:24:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21446173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chex_Nix/pseuds/sharpedo
Summary: Tis’ my collection of unfinished stories or drabbles far too small for their own oneshot. Feel free to take inspiration but like, don’t outright steal my snippets as a portion of a story. Other than that, enjoy!
Relationships: Daemon Spade & Sawada Tsunayoshi & Dino & Xanxus & Kozato Enma & Yuni, Tim Drake & Aradia Megido
Kudos: 21





	1. Daemon Spade, Three Skies, One Earth, and a Baby

Daemon should have known it would come to this eventually. His life had been one long chain of karmic punishment ever since the Kozato child ran into mini-Giotto. He just knew Elena was out there somewhere, laughing at his misfortune. From avenger to babysitter, what was his half-life coming to?

But back to the point, Daemon should have known something like this would happen. He was _ (self-appointedly) _ in charge of four hellspawn in the guise of children. Or well, three hellspawn and their enabler. Enma thankfully was given the blessing of common sense, he just never knew how to apply it. Or how to deny Tsunayoshi’s puppy eyes. _ (To be fair he didn’t either, not that he would admit it.) _

It has started something like this. Dino and Xanxus had gone missing an hour ago. This was concerning because the two of them were the epitome of overprotective big brothers to Tsunayoshi and Enma, they refused to let them out of their sight for longer than five minutes, not even if Daemon was watching them. Which led to Tsuna, in all of his six-year-old wisdom, to come to the conclusion they were kidnapped. To be fair, it was true, however the two of them soon proved that they had no need for a rescue team.

It was fairly impressive considering Dino still tripped over air.

Still, their great escape had landed Daemon into this situation in the first place. 

“What is that?” Daemon deadpanned, eyes stuck on the orange bundle swaddled in Dino’s arms.

Dino blinked, or well, more like winked considering the black eye that was swollen shut. _ (Daemon would have made his kidnappers brain dead if Xanxus hadn’t gotten to them first.) _, and looked down at his arms, “It’s a baby.”

He resisted the urge to sigh, “And _ where _did the baby come from?”

Xanxus raised an eyebrow, “You really want to have this conversation in front of Tsuna?”

Tsunayoshi and Enma blinked up at him innocently. Daemon felt his irritation rise, “_ That is not what I meant and you know it.” _

Dino started to sweat a bit, but Xanxus only rolled his eyes and went back to cleaning out his gun, “Those dumbasses had her, figured she’d starve if we left her so we didn’t.”

“Ah,” Daemon came to the terrible realization that they had adopted another one, “Should we not return her to her parents? I am quite certain that they would be worried.”

Xanxus shrugged, “The trash didn’t exactly have the time to spill where they got her from.”

Dino smiled sheepishly, “They tried to shoot Xanxus, what was I _ supposed _to do?”

Daemon could no longer resist the urge to sigh, “Of course, of course.”

Tsuna and Enma just giggled and then ran over to the new baby. Tsuna gave her a look over and said, “She looks like a Yuni!”

Enma and Dino wholeheartedly agreed, and more tellingly, Xanxus did not protest. It was too late, they named her. Now she would never leave. Daemon just lowered his face into his palm, well aware his next words would be futile, “Fine, but you all are taking care of her.”

The kids cheered, or smirked in one particular case. Yuni giggled. Daemon already knew that she’d be just as much trouble as the rest of them. 

So caught up in his thoughts, he didn’t hear Dino mutter, “Hey, wasn’t Yuni the name of Donna Gigleo Nero’s daughter?”


	2. Tim Drake Breaks Out Of Space Prison And Also Maybe Becomes A Dad

Timothy Drake would have, once upon a time, considered himself some measure of normal. Sure, he spent his nights stalking the local vigilante crime fighters with nothing but a camera and his pre-teen wits, but objectively, it was normal. Then he became one of the vigilante crime fighters. Then he lost his adoptive father who was also a vigilante crime fighter across time and space. Then he died.

That last part is more so in the eye of the beholder, but honestly, even though he knew he was technically alive he didn’t really feel like it. Maybe it was the crippling social isolation and confinement. Yeah, that was probably it. But whatever, what Tim was getting at here is that his life is weird and also really fucking sucks.

He wonders if anyone was looking for him.

Probably not.

He knew he was never as important to his  _ “family” _ as Damian, Bruce, Dick, or hell even Jason. In their eyes he was just a placeholder who had overstayed his due. Still, Tim has always been stubborn  _ (always wanted someone’s approval)  _ so he stuck around, and look where that got him. His death and a lonely cell that he was probably going to rot in. 

Or so he presumed, until he was suddenly whisked away by some flash of red light and pixie dust or whatever the fuck that was just now. 

Which leads him to his current situation.

<o>

Tim opens his eyes. 

Then he immediately shuts them again because  _ fuck that was bright. _

Then he opens them again, but only a little bit, because when we’re things in his cell  _ bright? _

For a good minute after that he thought he was hallucinating, because upon further inspection the bright thing that Tim happened to be looking at was the sky. A blue sky. Which looked remarkably like Earth’s. 

He shifted his head a bit to the left, only to see a wall, but not the claustrophobic walls of his cell. No, the wall was distant and rust red. Like a warehouse that had been left unattended. He looked to the right and there was the same, and a bag laying on the floor next to him.

Tim shot up from his place on the ground. Then winced as he realized just how sore his body was, it wasn’t just his eyes that burned. Which,  _ ow _ , those still hurt a lot. He really wasn’t used to light after what seemed like years in darkness  _ (and really how long had it been?),  _ but he chose not to think about that right now because he was  _ on Earth.  _ Sure, maybe not his Earth but he’d take anything over that  _ fucking cell _ right now.

Tim took a wobbly step and fell knees first into the gravel, frayed Kevlar not doing much to keep his knees from being scraped but he  _ didn’t care because there was no gravel in his prison just like there was no sun or clouds or warehouses or-  _

Oh, he might be crying.

A small voice whispered in his ear about what Batman would think about such a public display of emotion before he tossed it into the great abyss of intrusive thoughts because he wasn’t ruining this moment by thinking of  _ Batman  _ right now.  _ (His feelings on his mentor had been left sour for quite a while, even if Tim missed him so fucking much.)  _

He takes a moment to collect himself. No matter how glad he was to be home, or at least a place that looks like it, he still has no clue where he is or how he got here. With a deep breath he begins to look around and take stock. The ground he was laying on is covered in some kind of red glitter? He reached out to investigate, only to realize that he is also covered in red glitter. He’s tempted to take a sample but has nothing to hold it in or test it with, so unfortunately he will have to let the mystery lie and hope it’s nothing dangerous.

He then investigates the bag. It’s black and also covered in the glittery substance, with a large flap for an opening. Carefully, he kneels down, flips it open and-

_ Hm _ , that wasn’t what he was expecting. At all. In any scenario.

Inside there seems to be a few spare sets of clothes, hoodies and jeans and the like, he gives them a look over and they seem to be his size, even with how emancipated he’d become while in captivity. There was also several wads of money  _ (why are there so many twenty’s?)  _ and some sealed name brand granola bars and water. That’s the last of the normal components.

Seriously, what is he looking at.

In addition to all the things he just listed there’s a laptop. In the shape of Bill Crosby. Yeah, not touching that one. There's also a pure white fedora, a whip, two bottles of grape Faygo, a note in red ink and an egg. A giant egg. Like, ostrich sized. Hmmmm. Tim is both impressed whoever gave this to him managed to fit so much stuff inside and also incredibly confused.

He grabs the note and reads, hoping for some context.

_hello! _

_ my name is aradia megido _

_ i would say its nice to meet you but technically we havent met yet unless you count an egg as meeting but i dont think you would not that its important if you count that or not_

_ it would be kind of silly if you did though _

_ regretfully my current self will have to go without knowing that since you dont really have the time to meet me and i have very important cleaning duties to attend to and it is highly unlikely that i will ever personally get to meet you unless you become a ghost which would be pretty cool but also inconvenient for a number of vague and mysterious reasons that arent really relevant to you_

_ but that finally brings me to the point of this letter _

_ i figured since you did me a favor getting your lusus unstuck from the very very delicate time stream im managing i would do you a favor and get you out of your unideal situation _

_ youre welcome by the way_

_ but while i was undergoing my daring rescue i found one of my eggs from one of those weird doomed timelines where i actually have one sticking around and decided to cull two featherbeasts with one stone and send her with you since it didnt mess with your timeline any more than it was already messed with_

_ you all should really leave time travel to the time players but hey i cant stop you _

_ have fun :D_

_ and take care of aradia for me!_

That didn’t really answer much. 

He can extrapolate a few things from the letter,  _ (possible alien origin, what was up with the phrasing? Time is referenced a lot. Either delusional or some sort of time-faring alien species? Egg is possibly hers or at least an alternate version of her. Species uses Earth terms of gender, or is it just translation? Speaks English. Knows about Bruce?) _ but it’s still ridiculously vague and has left him with a lot of questions, which may or may not have been intentional of the author. He can’t really be sure of anything, there’s no way he could verify literally any of this especially not without his old resources.

God, he misses the Batcomputer, no matter how stupid it’s name is. He’s just glad he can blame Dick for that, he doesn’t know if he could look Bruce in the eye anymore if he named it that. Or any of his Bat Appliances really. 

_ (Assuming that he wants to see him again anyway, he’s not sure if Bruce was even looking for him.) _

_ (He’s not sure if he really wants to know, either.) _

Tim ignores the sinking feeling in his gut and continues to try and decipher the note, he couldn’t afford to be distra-

_ Crack! _

-ted.

His eyes shoot back over towards the bag, there is a small fracture on the egg that was growing gradually larger.

Shit.

There’s a brief moment of definitely-not-panic where Tim’s not sure what he’s supposed to do. He just got out of solitary confinement for fucks sake, he’s not even qualified to talk to people let alone hatch a possibly alien baby. The egg does not care for his very valid complaints though, and continues to crack open revealing a mess of deep red eggshell membrane. It then begins to leak said membrane and Tim panics and picks it up.

_ Crack! Crack! _

The top of the egg pops off revealing a curled orange horn and a mass of black fur covered in viscera. 

_ (Oh fuck, this is actually happening.) _

The creature continues pushing, leaving a mess of eggshell and goop on Tim’s hands. Bit by bit, the cover flakes off to reveal a small, bug-like creature with a human face. It turns out the black fur was more like hair, lots of hair. The creature shudders, shaking away the last of its shell, then wiggles around so that Tim could see it's surprisingly human face.

Her eyes pop open, little yellow pinpricks set in grey looking right at him.

Aradia chirps.

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hey yo! Come check out my tumblr!
> 
> https://chex-nixxed.tumblr.com/
> 
> And also my KHR Writers Discord Server if you’re interested!
> 
> https://discord.gg/MJEhkJb


End file.
